The beginning is always a good place to start but to be honest it can be a long drawn out story when you start there. So instead i will start with my new beginning.
January 17th 2011 is where my journey started. Jesus Christ became my savior my everything.
Alright I will give a little bit of the back story so that it all makes sense.
I grew up a happy child, Happy Hannah was my nick name. I laughed, I played and I enjoyed life. As I grew up I became less and less happy. I grew up in a Christian home. My parents encouraged all of their children including me to have a relationship not just religion.
As i became a teenager I stopped talking and walking with God. I wanted to feel accepted and loved and I looked for it in many different places. I tried to find it in people, friends, things, men. The list goes on and on and on but did it bring me love and acceptance and ultimately happiness? I bet you can guess what the answer to this question is.
I was at the place where i was engaged to be married and the wedding date was fast approaching. I began to think, Is this it? Is this what my life is going to be? I felt so alone. Ironically enough that was what i was afraid of, being alone and there i was people surrounding me yet I felt utterly alone. I never told anyone how i felt I remained silent.
So many things ran through my mind, I shouldn't feel this way, I am getting married. This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life, yet it wasn't:.
I felt depressed, correction i was depressed. Hard to admit it but i was. I knew there was more than this.
I knew i couldn't continue living my life like this, I knew deep down that i needed to make a change.
I remember sitting in a coffee pub with my younger sister talking about life and she seemed so different. She had recently returned from a trip to Asia. She came back a different person and I knew I wanted what she had. This exuberant passion for life, it was unmistakable the joy that she had. I remember her telling me how God has become more important in her life. She didn't push anything on me she just simply told me the truth in a manner I related to and could accept.
Three months later my relationship with my fiance was nothing but one fight after another, work was becoming overly stressful and i had had enough.
to be continued...
