Why Doesn't the Flattery Flatter Me?

Okay, so most of my blog entries, actually all of them up to date have been about my relationship with God. This blog is going to be a bit different. If you do not like different then i suggest you just stop reading when i put the period at the end of this sentence.

My very best friend got married yesterday. cheers, it was such a beautiful day filled with multiple beautiful moments. One of the most memorable ones for me was simply seeing the pure joy in both my best friends face but her new husbands. Did I feel a pang of jealousy? I would be lying through my teeth if I told you that I wasn't feeling some shade of green at a point throughout the night. New people and new possibilities have been placed in front of me, yet I feel so utterly unwilling to taste test any of them? Why is it that i long for something but will not get off the couch or put the bag of chips down to get what I want? Maybe some of you would say it is because that is not the right thing for my life right now and I subconsciously know that, so I am simply avoiding mess. Or maybe there is nothing to even avoid. Now I am simply being cryptic. I think this is where i say adeau. I am just working out some thoughts. Thank you for being patient as I ramble. I needed tp ramble.